First comes love, then commitment, and then financial partnership.
People who enter relationships with solid monetary habits have an advantage, but in order to make love work, it’s important to combine skills to make the most of double income and achieve shared goals and dreams. Financial planning can be a source of frustration and frustration when you have different views of savings and spending, or are unsure where your money should go.
A financially efficient couple has nothing to do with wealth. It has to do with managing the money you have and effectively allocating it to what you value and want to do in life. It also comes from knowing the stories about money and personal qualities of you and your partner.
There is no guidance on how couples should manage their money effectively because every couple wants different things out of life. However, there are ways to multiply your money together while keeping arguments to a minimum.
Here are 11 habits that will help you become one of those couples who have it all together when it comes to their money, and tips on how to get there.
12 money habits of high performing couples
Understand What You Shared Vs. Personal expenses
It can help you get rid of the costs of some of the things you both pay for (it happens!), And get an idea of your actual total bills so you can better use your shared bill and start spending as a team. Grab a spreadsheet or notebook and paper and start listing your general and personal expenses.
Not sure what it is? Your general expenses are fixed expenses that you both pay each month. Examples of shared expenses are rent, mortgage, and water and heat bills. When you do, you can start thinking and talking about other expenses that you both share each month, such as products and other monthly subscriptions.
Then start listing your individual expenses that you pay independently, such as gym membership, gifts for family members, and how much money you tend to spend on what you want.
Know your strengths and weaknesses
Let’s face it; not everyone enters into a relationship with all financial know-how. Instead of expecting a more freedom-loving person to become a spreadsheet master, think about how they can best contribute to your financial relationship.
For example, if one of you is naturally more organized, that person might be the appointed CFO. Another can help by generating additional income or making sure the other does not become too limited in his numbers to forget to enjoy the little things of life, such as an occasional dinner outside the home.
Consider how anyone can get a joyful financial role rather than a miserable chore.
Understand your needs, wants and goals
Couples who manage their income effectively balance their short-term and long-term goals and spread their salaries over the near and distant future. By creating baskets, for example using the 50/30/20 rule (50% for needs, 30% for needs, and 20% for savings), you can start planning efficiently with your money, rather than just saving and wasting from time to time.
For example, a couple making a combined annual income of $ 80,000 after taxes could start with each spending $ 800 a month in shared monthly bills and expenses (a must), $ 200 a month for a big anniversary trip. to Australia in 2021 (wish) and $ 300 a month for their emergency funds and retirement accounts (savings).
Learn each other’s money stories
When it comes to money, we enter into a relationship with a lot of baggage. Our parents may not have taught us good values or how to handle personal finances. Maybe they just didn’t understand money and weren’t role models. The history of your money explains who you are financially and how you got there (and where you want to be in the future).
Taking the time to learn each other’s money stories and how their relationship has developed over the years can help couples develop intimacy and understanding. There are interesting ways to learn about each other’s money stories.
Start with a fun 20-question game and you’ll be amazed at how much you learn about each other.
Set monthly money dates
Most couples would rather go to the dentist than sit down and spend an evening discussing their financial situation. And who can blame them? Conversations about money can be very stressful and end in fights and recriminations. The solution is to set up a monthly monetary date to soften the blow to tricky topics and make them more regular so that there are no shocks or surprises.
The money date should happen once a month at the agreed time after you’ve washed the dishes and over a glass of wine or a soothing dinner. Taking an hour to discuss your goals, debts, and feelings, and your long-term and short-term goals (and your progress towards them) will help ease access to tough money negotiations and help you tackle more difficult topics in the future. to make your money flow in the right direction and make real, positive change.
Start automating your finances
Couples who have allowed automation to take on the burden of paying bills and certain common expenses have more time to spend on things that are truly enjoyable. Automating your finances means you don’t have to write yourself a sticky note to manually transfer money to your joint account or substitute another account to pay your bill. But automating your finances is more than just convenience.
Automation allows us to reduce what behavioral economists call the pain of paying. When combined with active communication, automating your finances can help you save and spend together and separately.
Begin to understand your money merging style
There is no single way for couples to pool their finances. Take some time to understand what your style of merging money is. Do you want to direct all your income to a large bank and pay bills, general and individual expenses from there?
Chill! Or maybe you want to set aside some of your money in a shared account, while keeping some of your income for yourself to spend as you see fit. However you choose to pool your income, it is important that you both feel that you have access to your money in a way that makes you feel that you have financial independence and a healthy role in financial decision making.
Get to know your money
Do you think the sponsor and contributor cannot find financial happiness? Nonsense. Opposites can attract as long as they agree on the bigger picture. In fact, research has shown that two contributors may not be as financially compatible as one might think – one person may eventually become more inclined to spend.
Taking the money personality test is a fun way to help you determine your spending and saving habits. Let each person use their superpowers to do what they do best so that financial planning does not seem like a chore. It can also build more trust between the two of you and figure out how to make your money complimentary rather than contradicting each other.
Be prepared for the unexpected
No one can predict the future (hello, 2020). However, couples who know there will always be rainy days on the horizon keep a healthy emergency fund if one of the partners loses their job, faces a large medical bill, or faces a sudden change in life circumstances.
Many schools are thinking about how much to save, but a good rule of thumb is three to six months’ total costs with no lights out – rent or mortgage, minimum credit card bills, and car payments. Automating your paycheck to a contingency fund can make creating and growing it much easier.
Find Something Worth Celebrating
Even during the most difficult times, the most financially successful couples celebrate something positive in their relationship. It costs nothing to tell the other person how important they are to you and how much you value them. Agreeing and disagreeing is okay if you have time to come to decisions that don’t end with sulking or passive aggression.
Financial harmony arises from the fact that you celebrate all the good that the other brings to the relationship, rather than dwelling on what is holding you back. If you’ve scheduled your monthly cash date, be sure to end it with something fun and loving, like a bowl of ice cream or a cozy couch chill out.
Reminding each other that you are a team and that you are here to support each other through all odds is the most important thing successful couples can do, financially and otherwise.
This article originally appeared on Your Money Geek and has been republished with permission.