Imagine waking up at 3am to your rich and powerful partner saying he has been attacked and needs to use your credit card to avoid being tracked by the attackers.
You may be skeptical.
But what if you have been dating this person for several months? Did you fly in their private jet, have drinks and dine, and even meet their bodyguard (who is now lying bloodied on the ground in the photo they sent)?
Pretty soon, your compassion, hope, and desire to maintain a promising relationship take over your feelings of doubt.
You invest and poof: your savings are gone.
Of course, The Tinder Swindler story represents a more extreme case of online dating scams. Not every fake profile will get you to Paris.
But according to the FTC, thousands of tiny versions of it have flooded Tinder, Hinge and the like, swindling even the most vigilant dating applicants out of $304 million in 2021 alone. And given that four times more than in 2016, their fresh methods are clearly working.
So what are the most common dating scams (also known as “romance scams”) for those under 30 that should be avoided? What are the general guidelines for detecting and preventing scammers?
Let’s explore online scams in 2022.
What are the most common online dating scams to watch out for in 2022?
1. “I need money for XYZ”
The classic “I am a Nigerian prince” scam from the early days of the internet has returned to the era of online dating apps.
Here’s how it works: A “love scammer”, usually pretending to be someone from abroad, will establish a sincere relationship with you within days, weeks, or even months. Once the connection is established, they will one day surprise you with some kind of crisis related to their personal finances:
- “My grandfather passed away and I inherited $230,000, but I can’t afford the attorney’s fees to get it.”
- “I’d love to meet you, but I can’t afford to travel until I pay off my student loans.”
Often the scammer directly asks you to pay for his flight. This is an extremely effective way, as it’s hard to say no to someone who tries to meet you.
But if you send these people money, one of two things will happen:
- They will disappear.
- They will face “complications” that will require you to invest more money.
Unfortunately no. 2 became more common in the online dating world when scammers realized that anyone who sent money once was likely to do it again. Love scammers cash in on generosity, hope, and the sunk cost delusion to squeeze every penny out of their victims.
How to avoid it: Never, Ever send money to dating profiles. You can check them out by laughing it off and saying, “Yeah, I could use some money too.”
2. Blackmail with intimate photos, also known as “sex extortion”.
In a scam as old as the photos themselves, and even used by governments against world leaders, a nefarious schemer will solicit intimate photos and then ransom them back to you.
They usually threaten to post them on all social media using an anonymous account and tag you on them to embarrass you in front of your friends, family and employer.
Unless, of course, you pay.
Naturally, this scam is especially effective against those who shouldn’t be on any dating apps at all…
In any case, nudity draining is illegal in 30 states and the District of Columbia. especially if you have documentary evidence that the person tried to blackmail you.
However, if the other person remains anonymous, there is little the authorities can do.
How to avoid it: Never send photos to anonymous accounts that you wouldn’t post publicly on social media.
3. One-way Zoom call
In this scam, the bad guy (or girl) will actually make a Zoom call with you as a first date.
However, when they log in, they will say that something is wrong with their webcam. Oh well, technical problems happen, right?
The date is progressing and although you may not see them, you can hear them to make you feel comfortable. There may be the next date or two when they still haven’t fixed their webcam, but you start to feel close enough to that person to start sharing intimate details, secrets, and more – things you would never share in public.
That’s when the scammer discovers they’ve been recording you all along and, well, you know how the rest goes.
How to avoid it: Be careful and don’t trust those who claim that their “webcam doesn’t work”. Just ask to reschedule the meeting for a time when you can see each other.
4. Identity phishing – using intimate photos as bait
Turning the aforementioned blackmail scams 180 degrees, some scammers will offer to send you illegal photos if you identify yourself first.
After all, they just want to be sure that their photos won’t be used against them by a fake account. Therefore, they will ask for key personal details such as your legal name, address, mobile phone number, a photo of your driver’s license, and possibly more.
As amateur psychologists, scammers know damn well that these things are hard to give up. If you resist, they may apply pressure:
“I’m going to share my naked body with you and you won’t even tell me your real name?”
Then when you give up, they swindle enough data out of you to steal your identity, compromise your bank accounts, etc.
How to avoid it: Never share your personal information online unless it’s a source you 100% trust. The potential for racy photos isn’t worth the risk of ID theft.
5. Fraudulent code verification texts
This has been happening a lot on Tinder lately.
In the least romantic of romance scams, the scammers will send you a fake “Verify your account” email that looks official, but contains a link that redirects you to a third-party site.
There you will be asked to provide your personal details, banking details, possibly even an SSN – all under the guise of “protecting your account” when the opposite happens.
How to avoid itA: Gmail is good at blocking phishing emails, but if they arrive, update your information directly on the site, not via the email URL.
6. “Soldier” in trouble
Finally, scams involving fake US military personnel are becoming so common that the US Army has an entire webpage warning us about them.
“The most common pattern involves criminals, often from other countries, especially West African countries, who pose as US soldiers serving in a war zone or elsewhere overseas.”
The scammers claim they need the money for “service-related needs” such as travel expenses, long distance calls and even medical bills, citing insufficient support from the government. Then, not wanting to feel unsupportive or unpatriotic, the victims transfer money.
How to avoid itA: Same logic in no. These “soldiers” include point 1 – never, never send money.
What are some general recommendations for fraud prevention?
Use Google reverse image search for suspiciously sexy people
Scammers almost never impersonate 7 out of 10 – because why would you when “nickles” of all genders attract more attention?
So if you find someone who looks like an extra from “Zoolander”, do a reverse Google image search to see if their “photo” is being used in multiple places.
Stay in the app
Scammers will almost always try to transfer you to text messages, email, or social media so that a) you can share mixed information faster and b) the recording of your conversation is harder to report to the dating app.
Stick to the app and if they pout, report them. Even if they weren’t scammers, they probably didn’t have your best interests in mind.
Bail for people who refuse to date
The scammers freely agree to meet in person, but always cancel at the last minute due to traffic, work, or some other plausible excuse.
If someone resists a face-to-face meeting, it’s time to move on. At worst they are scammers, at best they are disorganized nonsense!
Follow your intuition if something is wrong
Sometimes you can’t figure out what it is, but something seems “wrong” about the person you’re interacting with. Their English, their speed of responses, their personal storytelling… there is something alien about it.
This is probably because scammers often operate in a group and you may be talking to three or four people who can’t tell their story correctly. Trust your intuition and run.
Never never, Ever send money
No first date has ever started with:
“Thank you for paying for my flight!”
None. Besides, do you really want to date someone who is begging for money from the start?
Summary
Thanks in part to Shimon Hayade Hayut, also known as the Tinder Fraudster, Tinder began allowing users to complete two free criminal record checks before going on a date.
It certainly helps, as does staying vigilant, skeptical, and well informed. Dating can be an emotional roller coaster, but if the highs start to feel too high, it’s helpful to remember the old adage:
If this is too good to be true…
Featured image: Pla2na/Shutterstock.com
