Things I Wish I Knew Before Buying My First Home I MoneyUnder30

Just a few months ago, Holly and I began the home buying process as follows:

And just a few weeks ago it ended like this:

Despite the fact that we are both obsessed with research, and people have been posting home buying advice for decades, some aspects of the process still surprised us.

From the most common mistake American homebuyers make when choosing a lender to guidance on how to survive the process and keep your relationship alive, here are five things I wish I knew before buying my first home.

one. Your family REALTOR® may not be right for you

If you are looking for a house in the same city where your parents live, their first reaction to the news that you are looking for a house may be:

“Oh, this is so exciting! Do you have a real estate agent? You must call Tanya; she is great”.

Don’t get me wrong, Tanya can be a fool. But real estate agents are not suitable for everyone. Just because Tanya helped your family get a fantastic house deal in the 90’s doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the right REALTOR® for you today.

The best REALTOR® for you is someone who:

1. Works full time.
2. I like working with first-time homebuyers.
3. Knows the areas where you want to buy.
4. Has the ability to accept you as a client in the hot housing market.

Your family REALTOR® may or may not fit the bill perfectly. To find out, use a referral and schedule a call with them. During a friendly chat, ask them questions from our How to Find a Real Estate Agent guide.

Do not worry; questions will not make you seem cold or reserved; they are straight forward and professional and the agent will appreciate it if you ask them.

If REALTOR® is right for you and your needs, great! Keep it in the family.

If not, go back to our guide and get in touch with the ideal agent that suits you best.

2. Helping your REALTOR® help you is the fastest way to win the game.

Once I found the right REALTOR®, I naively thought it was done. They will find a home; I’d write a check, just like that.

Maybe in an ideal world, but not in this one.

In fact, a good REALTOR has 10 to 20 clients at the same time. This means that even if they work 80 hours a week (as the best REALTORS® usually do), they still spend four to eight hours a week thinking about you.

Do you know who is constantly thinking about your home buying needs? You doing!

That’s why it’s best to think of your REALTOR® as someone who plays a supporting role in the process while you do a lot of research yourself. Take it from us; helping your REALTOR® greatly speeds up the process. For example, when you start actively mailing your REALTOR® lists to areas that you like, it also narrows down their search options.

In the end, it was Holly (my better half) who found our home while our REALTOR® was with another client for a showing. And when we sat down to close a few weeks later, we realized that our success was the result of a team effort.

3. You need a small lender, not a big bank

Before doing any research, I assumed that my big bank (I won’t reveal it, but whose name is synonymous with “chase”) would also make a great mortgage lender.

But from the wrinkled expression on my REALTOR® face, I immediately knew that turning down your bank mortgage was the wrong move.

It’s not that the big banks are greedy or deceitful; The thing is, they’re too busy. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, half of consumers seriously consider only one lender. When you consider it, no. One of the considerations was “the existence of an existing banking relationship”, it is safe to say that most of these borrowers use their local Pursue branch.

In contrast, a small local lender whose reputation depends on closing deals and satisfying clients will provide you with all the key benefits you need to close.

Based on personal experience, our lender had to perform the following ninja moves to help us win this house—sometimes without us even asking:

• Calculation of the ideal number of discount points to apply based on our savings and income.
• Answers his phone at night and on weekends.
• Performing pre-underwriting (which is like a super pre-approval).
• Providing an opt-out evaluation for us to significantly improve our offer.
• Closing after 18 days.

All five of these ninja lender tricks were necessary to win this house, and a big banker couldn’t have done any of them.

I think I’ve made my point: avoid using your big bank as a lender, even if you love and trust it.

4. Searching the house will be a stressful experience for your relationship, but it will strengthen it in the end.

This item has little to do with personal finances, but a lot to do with your happiness. And since joy and financial stability are inextricably linked, I think it’s worth mentioning:

If you are shopping with a partner, the process of buying a home will be a test of your relationship.

I don’t mean to say that you will fight all the time. Will there be any disagreement? Certainly. However, what I’m trying to say is that the whole months-long process of buying a house feels like a relationship stress test that bends (but doesn’t break) just enough to cause some frustration.

It’s funny; I feel that at the same time that our lender was checking our:

• Credit rating.
• Bank statements.
• Tax return.
• 1099 and W-2.
• past addresses.

The very arduous process of finding a home tested our:

• Compassion.
• Communication.
• Sympathy.
• Active listening.
• Generosity.

And more. If you pass the first test, you will be able to buy a house. If you pass both tests, you will be able to coexist within it.

I’m not a relationship coach, but here’s a tip that helped Holly and me: make time for dinners, long walks, and watch Hulu in matching Snuggies with your significant other. The process of buying a home can be incredibly stressful and tiring, so setting aside blocks of your calendar for light-hearted, laid-back evenings is an integral part of the process.

five. The crazy adage our parents used to say about home shopping is true.

Remember what they say: “Right after you think you’ve lost your perfect home, that’s when the real perfect home appears.”

Butch’s mom repeated this phrase after we lost our house number. 5 and I couldn’t believe it anymore. Interest rates were rising. Cash investors bought 60% of the homes in our target zip codes. You don’t have to wait for the perfect home. We would have had to settle for a shack or a converted school bus.

But she was right; the perfect house has arrived, and I’m typing this inside of it now, surrounded by boxes.

Ironically, 100% of my friends who have made purchases in the last 18 months said the same is true for them. Despite the onslaught of cash-strapped investors, there seems to be some ghostly force – like an invisible hand for real estate – that guides and protects homebuyers and ultimately makes you the home owner.

Summary

When you’re looking to buy your first home, in addition to trusting an invisible force, it helps support your REALTOR by doing your own research, finding the right local lender, and perhaps most importantly, understanding that this home buying process is not a sprint, but a marathon.

Being a first home buyer in 2022 is challenging but possible, and Money Under 30 is here to help.

For more tips on speeding up the home buying process, see

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